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Responding to an Unexpected Pregnancy

Finding out that you may be responsible for an "unexpected" pregnancy can be quite a shock. Initially, you may find yourself thinking or asking yourself questions like:

  • "How did this happen?"

  • "Is she absolutely sure?"

  • "Am I really the father?"

  • "What are we going to do?"

You may also experience the following feelings:

  • Shock
  • Denial
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Shut Out
  • Powerless
  • Relief
  • Happy

Whatever you may be initially thinking or feeling, know that you are not alone. Many men have experienced a "surprise" or "unexpected" pregnancy. Below are suggested step to take:

  1. Confirm the pregnancy. Missing a period does not automatically mean your partner or friend is pregnant.It is possible she is not. We provide a lab-quality pregnancy test that will show a positive or negative result with a 99% accuracy rate. If pregnant, she may qualify for a limited sonogram.

  2. Educate yourself on the options. There are only three: abortion, parenting and adoption. Make sure you have all the information before making a final decision.

  3. Show that you care. Offer your support. If possible, be involved in the decisions surrounding your partner or friend's pregnancy.

  4. Talk to someone. It may help for you as a couple or separately to find a third person to speak to. Seek out counseling from a professional health care provider, a pregnancy counselor, a therapist, a doctor, or a clergy person.

  5. Know your rights. Gather the facts and know your rights as the expectant father before responding to the situation.

  6. Take a paternity test. If you are in serious doubt about being the father, take the steps to have paternity testing. For more information on DNA Parentage Testing call 1-800-DNA-Center.


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