For Men » Abortion » After the Abortion

After the Abortion (PAS)

KNOW THE FACTS

Very little has been written on the topic of abortion and its impact on men. Most of the research focuses on how abortion affects women. This is unfortunate, as there may be more than 30 million men who struggle to cope with the abortion experience.

If you initiated or supported your girlfriend or partner's plan to have an abortion, your initial reaction may have been one of relief. However, as time goes on, the relief may be followed by many conflicting feelings such as:

Guilt • Depression • Hostility • Regret • Sorrow
If you were not involved in your girlfriend or partner's decision to have an abortion or you supported another option, the abortion decision may have caused feelings of:

Frustration • Anger • Helplessness • Sadness

The feelings and reactions in both situations could be the result of Post-Abortion Stress or Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS). Post-abortion stress happens when a man is not given the opportunity to grieve the loss (es) associated with the abortion (like the life of his unborn child).

PAS affects not only the father of the baby, but also the grandfather, siblings and other relatives. Men who marry women with a past abortion can also be affected by their wives' pain, even if they were not the fathers of the aborted child.

MEN AT GREATER RISK

Any man who has lost a child through abortion can experience post-abortion stress. Some circumstances, in particular, may put a man at a higher risk of PAS:

Exclusion from the decision making process
Finding out about the abortion after the fact
Insisting that their girlfriends or wives have the abortion, and later regretting it
Disagreeing with the abortion decision and failing to stop it
Believing abortion is wrong

SYMPTOMS OF PAS

Anger and frustration at self and others for not being able to protect and/or provide for your unborn child
Using alcohol and drugs to dull the emotional pain
Feelings of sadness, guilt, regret, depression, panic attacks
Difficulty sleeping or waking up from sleep
Difficulty in maintaining meaningful relationships - experiencing resentment and distrust toward women
Becoming a workaholic to avoid contact with other people or in a desperate effort to succeed in a crucial aspect of life
Flashbacks and nightmares
Sexual dysfunctions

GOING FOR HELP

In general, society makes it tough for men to deal with the aftermath of an abortion. First, the counseling profession finds it hard to acknowledge the existence of Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS). Secondly, many men are taught as children not to show weakness or cry. As a result, men are discouraged from realistically coping with their abortion decision.

We at the Shady Grove Pregnancy Center understand the need for some men to find an outlet to discuss the abortion and grieve the loss of their unborn child. We offer specialized one-on-one counseling with a licensed professional.

ADDITIONAL ARTICLES/BOOKS

(These are off-site links. Please use the back back button to return here.)

For Men: Post Abortion Syndrome
Taboo Grief: Men and Abortion by Elaine Minamide
The Impact on Men, Losing a Child to Abortion by Bradley Mattes at Life Issues Institute
Forgotten Fathers: Men and Abortion by Vincent Rue, Ph.D.
Fatherhood Aborted by Guy Condon and David Hazard.
Men and Abortion: A Path of Healing by C.T. Coyle, Ph.D.